Mum, Mummy, family

What is important for you in life? What’s top on your priority list?

P: We’re completely different on that one. As an autist, I prefer being at home and build everything up around this space. And Lene prioritizes that we get to travel sometimes.
L: When we started dating, we agreed that one day, we’d travel to Madagascar together. But then Pernille made a remark about how expensive this trip would be—and it IS of course expensive. But I thought we had agreed that we wanted to prioritize this trip and save up for it.
P: Yes, well… I feel like the things I have on an everyday basis, for instance two great cars and a nice house, are things that I can appreciate every day. Once the vacation is over, it’s gone. You might have some pictures that you never look at anyway, but to me: if it’s gone, it’s gone. I have a hard time seeing something you don’t have anymore as something you still have.

What does physical touch mean for you in your everyday lives?

L: We really appreciate it. We want our boys to learn to be affectionate to the people they feel close to. After all, the children actually feel better when they cuddle, hug and kiss. We’ve worked so hard to have our own children, we have so much love to give to them; we want them to feel that.
P: Neither I nor Lene received much love and attention growing up. We don’t want our children missing the same things that we missed. The worst for us would be if they said in forty years: ‘We didn’t get enough love and cuddles growing up’.

How do you feel about physical touch in society? Do people get enough of it?

P: I think there’s too much touching, hugging, cheek kissing and handshaking. I’m so glad I don’t live in a country where you have to kiss each other all the time!
L: But the advantage is that the rules are clear in these countries: when you meet someone, you kiss each other on the cheek. In Denmark, however, it’s ambiguous. You never know if you should hug someone or just simply shake his hand. I think both are fine. But not having a clear agreement about how to greet someone can sometimes lead to awkward situations.

What are the social norms regarding physical touch in Denmark?
Think about social norms and also about social media—do these things change anything regarding physical touch in Denmark? At your workplace? For the people you know?

L: Workplaces are a good example. When you show up in the morning, you don’t hug your colleagues. But when you meet outside of work, you do. Isn’t that weird? Some patients? will give me a hug when they show up for their dentist appointment. Others will just shake hands. I never know how to greet them. But we always hug our friends! Oh… well, actually, we don’t hug our friends that live just right down the street. When we visit them, we just walk into their house and say ‘hi!’